I am writing this through a veil of tears, so I apologize for any typos! Like most women I am very emotional. I feel things very deeply, my heart is tender and I laugh as easily as I cry! I am finding it is very cleansing to "own" my struggles, to share them with others or at the very least get them out of my head and off of my chest.
This week I have struggled with a lot of emotions! Emotions are good; don't get me wrong. I am so glad I am someone who feels things deeply. But as I really examine who I am and what makes me successful in my weight loss battle and also what triggers road blocks, I am finding emotions play a really big role!
I had a weekend that put me in a funk. There was not one big catastrophic event and it seems petty when I think of those who lost everything in the devastating tornadoes or the Brown County family whose son gave his life fighting in Afghanistan.
You all know my mom is my everything. Last week was her rough chemo week. Seeing her feel so terrible is a reminder to me of how fragile life is. How we all take so much for granted every day. Like the things we eat and drink! We spend so much time focusing on the things we are giving up, but we are giving them up to get healthy, to add years to our life! We give them up and replace them with healthy options, and we find every way possible to make these options still taste great! And most of the time we are successful. Cancer patients would give anything to eat something that tastes great. Most days finding something to eat or drink that doesn't taste like metal, that they can keep down or tolerate is a challenge. We whine about sore muscles and having to get to the gym, yet my mom would give anything to be able to get back in the gym or even walk up the stairs without being completely winded and exhausted! Really puts it in perspective! Health is a gift! Having the choice to eat healthy, having the option and ability to be active is something we should be grateful for every day!
I felt completely helpless this weekend, wanting desperately to find that one thing that would taste good to Mom. I expressed my heartache on my facebook page and it was eye opening! So many people reached out to me, to her, with suggestions and help! I felt so supported. It also made me realize that the the typical things we use to gauge a friendship aren't always the most accurate. It doesn't matter if you have known someone your whole life or only just met...or if you see each other often or talk all the time or if you just catch up on facebook! The people who reached out to me, who showed genuine concern....the friends that went out of their way to not only offer advice, but to get me the things I needed to help my mom be more comfortable surprised me! I have so many friends...old and new....and I am so thankful for all of them!
One new friend reconfirmed in my mind and in my heart that nothing happens by chance! Through AdvoCare I was introduced to Johnnie Kanoza. Johnnie is a trainer at Keep It Tight Fitness in Mason. Not only is she amazingly helpful and knowledgeable about all things nutrition, fitness and AdvoCare, but she is amazingly kind and giving! She is one of those people who would help you without ever thinking "what's in it for me?" I have only known her a very short time and had only met her face to face once! And Johnnie met me Saturday with with a canister of Rehydrate for my mom to try. When I got to Keep It Tight Fitness to pick it up she probably had no idea she would be giving me a counseling session! But she did. Johnnie recently lost her mom to cancer. Talking to her and sharing my struggles and my fears and seeing the tears in her eyes and knowing she "gets it", hearing her say to me, you are normal to feel that way....it was the best therapy! And I am truly blessed that our paths crossed!
So, yeah, very emotional at that point....the rest of my weekend was busy, but I have had an issue with a friend laying heavy on my heart. I don't want to share the details here, but it really was bothering me, still is, and I didn't sleep well Sunday night. So Monday morning I head to the gym at 5:30am and I am one tired ball of wound up emotion! Aaron Slusher, you are a saint! As I worked out, he reminded me of the adverse effects of stress and negativity on my body, my weight loss and my workout....and he helped me work through it. He helped me talk it out and look at it all in a much healthier way! I am so thankful for him as well! For those of you on this weight loss journey with me, please remember that eating and being active are only parts of the whole puzzle....your thinking, your attitude, sleep....so many other things play a role in your success!
I am thankful for my emotional week because through the emotions I have realized that God places people in your life for specific reasons! Take full advantage of that! Utilize the tools you are given. Through friends and acquaintances and random strangers! Let people who have learned through experience guide you, help you, counsel you! And by all means, if you have learned something, don't keep it to yourself...share it with others, help people to be stronger, healthier.....it's what it is all about! Also, don't let your emotions derail you or cause you to make unhealthy choices. Acknowledge your emotions and deal with them. Don't mask them with bad choices! And when making a bad choice seems like the only choice....turn to the people who have been purposefully placed in your world and let their strength guide you back to the path you have worked SO hard to pave!!!!
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