The Company You Keep Keeps You....

"Tell me what company you keep and I'll tell you what you are."

-Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra

It's amazing all the things you outgrow as you go through a life changing transformation.  I think back on my journey and I am amazed at the things that I have let go of; some willingly and some without me even realizing I was letting go.  There are things that I let go of with ease, or naturally and there are things that have had to be pried from my grasp! In the beginning I let go of my fear of failure and decided to take the first steps to get healthy.  This was a tough step, so many around me wanted me to be healthy and the fear of failing them was even more overwhelming than the fear of failing myself.  I made a choice to turn that fear into motivation and it began to fuel me.

The list of things I've let go of is huge and for each thing I have given up I have replaced it with something that makes me stronger.  I gave up fast food, soda, chips and processed foods for vegetables, fruit, water and protein.   I gave up staying up late and not getting enough sleep and replaced it with 5:30am training sessions at the gym.  I gave up all the clothes I have outgrown for clothes in my new smaller size.  As I think about these and the many other things that I have given up and the reasons for doing so I ask myself, "are there people I have also outgrown?"

I think back on times in my life when I was at my lowest and the people that helped me and hindered me.  Those who were positive and encouraging and tried lifting me from those low points, I often found annoying, yet the people who would bitch and moan with me and let me complain, I clung to them.  Why is that?  Because misery loves company!  I know it sounds cliche, but it is so true!  As I focus daily on being a positive person who is striving to better myself on the inside and the outside, I realize that yes, I can't cling to people who are negative and still be successful.   Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying I should ditch my friends and find all new ones.  Everyone has bad days or times where they need to vent, me included.  We all have occasions in life where we are negative, but they should be brief moments and not the norm of our daily life.  I am examining the people that influence me, the people I draw energy from, the people who make a difference in my day to day life and most importantly in the way I think.  Not only the way I think about life and circumstances, but the way I think about myself.

I am the first to tell you I am amazingly blessed.  I have a support system that is deep and wide!  I have family, friends and complete strangers who reach out to me and encourage me daily.  Without that I would have given up many times.  That being said, there are still those people in my life that constantly plant seeds of doubt in my head.  They question my goals, they feed on negativity.  My trainer calls these people energy vampires.  They suck the positive life and energy out of me. Maybe I am naive or maybe I just like to see the good in people, but in the past I have given people the benefit of the doubt.  I have believed that people who love me would not want to see me fail.  And I would have argued that with anyone until I was blue in the face.  But the more I change internally and the harder I work to be positive the more aware I am of the influence other people have on my mood, my mind set and the overall success I have.  When I am surrounded by positive, healthy people who have goals and aspire to reach them, I am fueled to work harder.  It pumps me up.  And on the flip side, when I am surrounded by people who question my goals, who complain about life and see the negative in every situation, I find myself shrinking and questioning and doubting.  I don't want to be that person.  I want to be the person who believes that no goal is out of my reach.  The person who believes no matter what I set my mind to do, I can do!  The person who knows that no matter what set of circumstances life deals me, I will rise above it.

As difficult as it is to say, I do think there are times in your life where you have to let go of people.  I don't think you always have to cut them out of your life completely, but you change the way you interact with them.  And most importantly, you take control of the way they interact with you!  This is a really hard thing to do.  I am struggling with it currently. But just like every other thing I have given up on this journey I have to replace the negative with a positive.  I can't let the company I keep, keep me from reaching my goals. I make the choice to surround myself with driven people who have goals and encourage mine.  People who hold me accountable and push me when I am weak and can't push myself.  And my responsibility is to do the same for them.  

If there are people in your life who hold you back, free yourself of their hold.  Stop letting them cause doubt, stop letting them bring you down.  You are worth the effort it takes to stand up to energy vampires!  I have this conversation with myself daily!  Try it, it helps!!

On a different note, 10 days without weighing in....the scale is one more thing I have "given up".  For a month at least!  :)  I have had anxiety over this, definitely.  But finding other ways to track my progress is helping.  And realizing that the scale is not where I measure my self worth is something I am working on!  And in this struggle I am also reminded why positive people in your life make all the difference!  A text message this morning from a friend telling me she wanted to weigh herself this morning, but didn't because of me absolutely made my morning and reminded me I am not in this thing alone!